New Year’s Eve 2: The Issue with Trying to be Friends With Anyone, Let Alone Girls.

These posts will not be in the order of time in the evening but in order of how much they mean to me at the moment. I was at the Mavericks concert when I tried to talk to some girls. They told me they were going to the washroom and when they came out started to avoid me. Having no space at all I moved on and found someone I could talk to at the concert. She and I had a great talk. I could be honest with her. I found out later the night that she had a boyfriend and that I had completely misread — five stars for the Asperger’s.

Then here was the real kicker. I can deal with a girl having a miscommunication with me, however when I try to talk to a group of people, and they tell me I can hang with them I think that means I am good. Then when they started to run and yell, “leave us alone,” out of nowhere, I was very hurt.

When I was in grade school, all I wanted was a friend. I would try to talk to kids on the playground, and they would look at me weird and ignore me. When I tried to talk to them, they would complain to the teacher that I was stalking them. I was so upset by the social Isolation as a kid that I tried to kill myself on average every two weeks for years. Back at the party last night I was reminded that the burden of not being able to express I want you to be my friend, will never go away. I need to find other artists that are okay being with a fellow outcast.