Suffering, Artist, Asperger's, Dating

I find myself not sure when girls are flirting with me. Asperger’s would not be so bad if I listened to my rational mind and only talked to girls that can appreciate high-level atypical ideas. As a kid, I was bullied into suicidal depression. From a young age, one of my deepest desires was to escape the suffering of living outside society. I wanted to be neurotypical. Wanting to fit in of course makes no rational sense, and it sure as hell won't help the world. I have gotten over it with regards to contact and friends. I am not over the want to escape the persecution for being an artist when it comes to talking to girls. I need to let go of the past if I ever want to arrive at the present. If I want to see what is right in front of me, a girl with a great laugh, I need to at least try to be faithful to myself. I need to stop worrying that I will never be able to blend in and be like everyone else. I have a target on my back saying I am the only one here. I need to be OK with the arrows. That is the only way I will ever make something truly new, and I deserve someone who can see me in the portraits I photograph.